10 years

This summer I have my 10 year class reunion. Where did all that time go?

I'm actually a little nervous about going. Does that sound crazy?


I know I am an adult and my high school fears and insecurities shouldn't bother me anymore but they do. I am not the same person I was back then. I was, for lack of a better description, a loner. I had a couple of friends that were girls but I don't know if they would have been described as "best" friends. I worked all the time and when I was off for the weekend I was driving to Ames to hockey games. I didn't hang out with any one group of girls. I can't say as that I really even wanted to. I'm sure some of them were nice but the majority weren't. They were catty and talked down to me and that was okay. Back then that was okay. It sure wouldn't fly now. Amazing how time changes things.


Looking back I see that there were strong and weak members in every group. Every group also had one person that they thought needed protecting. I was unwilling to give in, I was unwilling to coddle anyone. I didn't fit in with these groups. I didn't care who wore what, or did what, or who said what. I also didn't care who I insulted or slighted. Sadly I didn't care to an extent who insulted or slighted me.


I find that I am still this way. I try really hard not to insult anyone but sometimes people have got to be put in their place because I will only take so much. My friends and I are very domineering women. We don't take the push but give the shove. Amazingly we don't care who wears what, or did whatever or said whatever. When I look back on different memories my first question to myself is "Was I laughing?" If I was laughing I had a good time. All those other memories are not important. They helped make me who I am but I don't enjoy looking back on them.


Most of my memories have guys in them or Austin and hockey games, that or working. Lord knows I did plenty of that.


Sometimes I am envious of Austin when it comes time to go to these things. He went to a huge school and didn't even know half his class. He can go in find who he wants to see and not have to worry about making small talk with the kids he didn't like or that didn't like him.