Mother of a Son

As the mother of a son I have learned that little boys are totally different than girls...
I know huge surprise there right?
I have learned to make all kinds of noises with my mouth that as a girl I never needed to know until now.
There is no such thing as playing quietly or nicely.
There is no gentle only rough housing.
If it can be taken apart it will be.
All wheels on vehicles must turn and work correctly or I suffer through hours of 'Why mom?'
Little boys would rather be dirty or naked. There is no inbetween here. Dirty OR Naked period.
When they learn they can pee standing up.
Then.

They.

Must.

Pee.

Standing.

Up.
This makes for interesting potty training when they have to do more than just pee.
Hugs and kisses are to be given only, and I mean only, when there is a boo boo or tears present. No other times, don't even bother asking.

If there is anything they can stand on to declare themselves king, they will.

Even if they have to take 'monkey' with them to do so.

They love to play 'fierce'.

They won't smile when asked but ask them for fierce and you get all kinds of eye contact and wonderful expressions.

Sand boxes are sacred areas that are obviously no moms allowed areas.

I bribe with twin pops.

Works wonders for the disposition.

He refuses for any of it to fall on the ground. It can drip all the way down his arm but no chunks will touch the ground.

When I ask for a kiss I must go get it.
I was lucky enough to get a kiss out of this and twin pop in my hair. Awesome. White is no longer allowed in the wardrobe.
He gets all excited when Red and Buddy are allowed out to play.

'No Mason'

'Don't you dare think of it'


'I said no!'

But there I stood getting a photo of it for prosperity anyways.

He's thinking...

'Yes

I can'

He gets this look from his dad. I am sure of it.

Remembered that Red and Buddy were outside...

He gets the crooked little finger from my side of the family.

His Aunt Marianne and Aunt Cammie have the same little fingers.

One touch,

and scream.

I told him that we were going to go inside and so he determined that he wasn't going to enjoy his last push and he didn't.

That'll show me.

Whatever...