Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Tank... Really

Well yesterday was Mason's 18 month well baby visit... I don't know how I feel about this... I am not ready for him to be 18 months.Considering it took forever to get out of the house. I let the dog out and went outside to start the car, came back in to get Mason and Hyde slipped back inside, I go back in to put Hyde in the kennel and get the diaper bag. I put Hyde in his kennel and give him his treat, I grab the diaper bag and am ready to head out when I notice the diaper bag is leaking. So I look in it to find the culprit and smell it... Yep... Dog PISS!!
Talk about a jealous pup!
So I hurry and get new diapers, wipe off the wipes... grab clean clothes to go in it and a clean diaper bag. Thankfully one was in the dryer.
We finally get on our way and everything was going good... um... yeah... all except for the part about the ride there where he got his finger stuck in a toy truck. Yes, you read that correctly. A. Toy. Truck.
Then he started to panic... and fling the truck around... and scream... all while I am driving on a questionable road covered with snow. So I pull over into a driveway and twist around to reach him and I can't get the truck off his poor little finger. I finally get it off with the ole spit maneuver and then comes the real test... Can I even get out of this stupid driveway?
It took a couple minutes of slipping and sliding but we made it out. Here is something for the record books... I was still early!! How often does that happen.
We pull into the doctors office to see my husband pulling in also. He decided to join us. Yeah... can you read my enthusiasm.
I think it was retards are us at the check in counter. Every time they ask all those questions about if everything is current. She starts in and I stop her and say 'Everything is the same.' to which she replies 'I'm sorry mam, (I saw red at that point, I am not old enough for MAM) I have to ask these questions because it has been six months since your child was in.' So she starts over with the questions. Starts over as in even asking Mason's name.
I think steam started coming out of my ears.
My husband seeing this slipped into the next line and got Mason checked in in less than 15 seconds. I didn't say anything back to her I just stomped over and asked the other lady to please put a payment on the account. The other gal follows me over and whispers in the other girls ear. I couldn't believe it but by that point we needed to get going before we were late.
I hated to just leave it at that so on the way out I stopped and asked to talk to the manager. I filed a complaint and the lady in charge was appalled by how I was treated. Evidently I am not the only person to file a complaint against this gal.
So now on to the good stuff. Mason is healthy. Duh like I didn't know that.
He weighs 29 lbs 14 oz 71 percentile and is 33 inches tall 91 percentile. The Dr. asks me all the normal questions. Yada yada yada. He picks Mason up to see how he is walking and calls him a tank. Most little kids when you pick them up are lite but he said Mason has substance to him 'like a tank, or linebacker.'
When he asked me how many words Mason knew I chuckled and asked 'Words that I can understand or words that his dad can understand?' He said 'Words that you can understand. Otherwise technically no little kids would know any words until kindergarten.' Austin looked offended but all he understands is no, Mama, and Dada. We get talking with the doctor and Mason is looking at his book and points to a truck like he had stuck on his finger and says 'Truck. ouch.' Even Austin understood it so he looks at Mason and being my son says 'what? NO! WHAT!!'
The Dr was floored. He said even though parents tell him all the time that their 18 month old knows so many words he had never seen such a demonstration of that knowledge. All I could say was 'Ouch is a new one'
So the nurse came back in and Mason got his shot and we declined the flu shot again. We were on our way.
The ride home was no better. Mason has a water sippy that has a straw and he has recently learned how to slide it open. He would open it and water would splatter all over, he would take a drink and close it. Over and over and over again for the whole 30 minute drive home. I was happy he didn't nap but upset that everything was wet.
After a quick diaper change and some dry clothes it was nap time. I don't understand why going to the doctor has to be so horrible. It really ruins the day.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Just 15 Minutes!! PLEASE!

This perfectly describes how my day is going!!


2008_01_21_free_time

Doodle by Lee.
The code for this doodle and other doodles you can use for you blog can be found at Doodles.

AAADD

This was e-mailed to me a couple of days ago. Most of my days go like this. I always wondered why I was so tired but nothing ever got done. I can't even blame preggo brain or newborn brain anymore.


AAADD - KNOW THE SYMPTOMS


Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -


Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys n the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid,

there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,

the flowers don't have enough water,

there is still only 1 check in my check book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing go done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....

Monday, March 17, 2008

Fresh Tea! HUH?

This is how most of my days go! I have tried to make tea for the last couple of days and the next morning I throw it out.

2008_02_20_plan_vs_reality_pe

Doodle by Lee. The code for this doodle and other doodles you can use for your blog can be found at Doodles.